Lucy had a prostitute
I am a TV-talker. You know the type. You’re watching a show. You’re really into it. One of the characters does something that may or may not be categorized as dumb by the general public should said actions ever be put to a poll. In your mind, you’re thinking, Man, that was dumb what that [...]
Wildly inappropriate
My children are at the age where we, as a family, need to set boundaries. They aren’t that old, so when I say things like, “When they were younger…” you might laugh. Then you’re running to the store to buy feminine products and listening to them ramble on about their boyfriends to everyone but you. [...]
Video games
I am a huge advocate of video games. Years of doctors saying hours of television-watching will rot your brain? Whatevs. Video game playing burns brain cells to ash? Nonsense. I call your concern and raise it a culturally conscious young adult. Cultured, is what it is. Back in the day (yes, I died a little [...]
The climb
So many things I’ve done in my life I can deem as selfish. I like to use the fact that I’m an only child as the reason and, in a lot of ways, that reason has served as a crutch. For a very long time, I didn’t want to be an only child and begged [...]
These Boogers were made for pickin’
[Ed. Note: So, like, I had this post done a few days ago. But then, like, I got hit in the face with this virus and it ate my brain and then I died. And I was all, like, No! No! I want to live! Then the virus was like SHUTTUP PUNK! And I was [...]
Backseat Karaoke v.2
UPDATE [AGAIN]: I figured it out. It was totally my fault. My bad. UPDATE: Vimeo is being a real wanker and embedding the video twice. If you’re seeing double, put down the scotch. Oh, and come back later. DISCLAIMER: I hope no one thinks I’m intentionally infringing copyright laws by posting these karaoke movies. My [...]
Gottid
A few weeks ago, the kids and I were off to the optometrist where I had an eye appointment. Whenever we’re in the car, the radio is playing and I am always singing whatever comes on. You’ve seen my Monday Mix section. When I say “whatever comes on” I mean WHATEVER, DOOBIE BROTHERS. What fascinates [...]
Backseat Karaoke v.1
A few months ago, my family and I did something we often do on any given, unannounced, unplanned weekend. We loaded up the car and hit the road. We were going somewhere, but senility has started to kick in with me and I can't remember where. Sorry. I've heard this happens after you turn thirty. Or when you don't pay attention. Or when you smoked all those drugs in college and blew out your short-term memory.
That last part never happened, Mom. I swear. Except that one... no, you know what, never. It never happened.
That last part never happened, Mom. I swear. Except that one... no, you know what, never. It never happened.
Don’t let me get to one (part two)
[Catch up here for Part One.] I joke that Booger will be my child who needs bail money. But there’s a saying that goes, “There’s truth in jest,” so take my joking how you will. Let’s just say there’s a piggy bank in a certain part of the house, reachable to little hands lest they [...]
Booger Versus the Water Fountain
My youngest. She's entertainment all in and of herself. I haven't quite figured what she's going to be when she grows up. She's so diverse, she can go a number of ways. She's stubborn, bossy, and impatient, so there's a life in Corporate America. She's an utter goofball with impeccable comedic timing, so she could be the next Tina Fey. Then there's the wonton disregard for authority.
So.
Sociopath?
So.
Sociopath?