Alterations
Sometimes I don’t ask the Universe for much. When I lack content for blog posts, sometimes I just throw up my hands and say IDK, Internet. Sometimes the Universe tosses me a bone and says Hey. You Who Needs Content. Look unto thine children.
You know what’s next, right? Facial piercings and tattoos, that’s what. Eyebrow shaving: The gateway drug.
*HD
I couldn’t help but laugh…OMG!!!
See, Paige, in hindsight, this was all very, very funny. I can look at it now and tee-hee. At that moment of initial reveal? Notsomuch.
So, now I must tell you the story of my nine year old brother.
As you know, we grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood, so all of our friends were black, and we were completely submerged in the culture.
My nine year old very white little brother (with curly dirty blonde hair) wanted nothing more than to have lines cut into the side of his head a la’ MC Hammer style (see visual in case you’ve forgotten the super fun and sexy trend! http://www.technodisco.net/img/artists/big/m/mc-hammer.jpg )
My mother, knowing he would look like a complete moron (see Vanilla Ice visual in case you forgot how moronic white people look when they try to pull off black styles… http://volunteermaryland.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/vanilla_ice-42.jpg ), said “ABSOLUTELY NOT”.
We were latchkey kids, so there was a gap of about an hour and a half between the time we got off the bus and the time Mom got home. As I was finishing my homework, my adorably dim witted brother came bounding down the stairs all excited. “Steph…check it out! I cut lines into my hair!” I sat there dumbfounded. My mouth may or may not have been hanging open. “Didn’t Mom say you couldn’t do that? She is gonna whoop your butt BIG TIME!” The realization of the gravity of the situation landed on his head all at once and he went running back up the stairs. A couple of minutes later, he came downstairs and said “I fixed it, she’ll never know.” I looked up to see my brother with multicolored tufts of fuzz hanging from the sides of his head.
He’d taken the hair out of all of the hairbrushes in the house, made little mini-toupees and glued them onto the sides of his head with ELMERS GLUE.
Moral of the story? It’ll grow back, and then you’ll be able to use that moment in time as emotional blackmail for at least the next twenty years!
Oh my God, this had me laughing so hard, I cried!