This entire post is going to date me, and that would probably only bother me if I were any age past the point where I start to hide it. But I’m not. It will make me feel old, this much is true. Got a few gray hairs springing out here and there. Maybe saw a furrow line in my eyebrow the other day. But. I’m not hiding it. Not yet, anyway.
Last night, I was
tortured sitting through this year’s Billboard Music Awards. Act after act, I winced. Then I shuddered. I can’t bear to sit through things I can’t stand. It makes me violent towards my television. I like my television. Instead of frustrating myself, I use a method BFam taught me called “fast watching”. You TiVo/DVR/[insert preferred recording method here, except VHS because BWAHAHAHAHA] the show you want to watch, then you fast forward everything you don’t want to see. Want to know how much of last night’s show I witnessed without it blurring by me? Guess. C’mon.
Five minutes. And even in those five minutes, I was disappointed. (I’m looking at you, Beyoncé.) Ken Jeong could not save that show, and I loves me some Ken Jeong (paging all Community fans).
After whizzing by just about everything, I turned the television off, set the remote beside me on the couch, and stayed stuck that way for a good ten minutes before the following words fell out of my mouth: “I am old.” Not hiding-my-age old. But remember listening to music of your era and your parents going, “Oh my God, you call that MUSIC?! I’ll show you REAL music.” Then cringing as they broke out 45′s of Steely Dan, Simon & Garfunkel, and The Carpenters? Even a little Neil Diamond or Tony Robinson & Dawn for good measure? (Yes I did. I just went there.) Remember? And you were all, “GAH, YOU’RE TOTALLY RUINING MY LIFE,” and you stormed off in a huff to your room?
Last night, I became your parents.
And I don’t care if you know it.
High School: 1991 – 1995
These songs either made me, shaped me, rounded out my music collection, or highly perturbed me. Okay, so there’s only two that fit that last category, and it’s mostly because they were played or sung to death.
- Not The Only One – Bonnie Raitt (Luck of the Draw, 1991)
- Mecca & The Soul Brother – Pete Rock & CL Smooth (All Souled Out, 1991)
- Make Sure You’re Sure – Stevie Wonder (Jungle Fever Soundtrack, 1991)
- Can’t Let Go – Mariah Carey (Emotions, 1991)
- Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana (Nevermind, 1992)
- Giving Him Something He Can Feel – EnVogue (Funky Divas, 1992)
- Warm It Up – Kriss Kross (Totally Krossed Out, 1992)
- Creep – Radiohead (Pablo Honey, 1993)
- I Get Around – Tupac (Strictly 4 My N.I.#.#.#.Z, 1993)
- All That She Wants – Ace of Base (Happy Nation, 1993)
- Regulate – Warren G f/Nate Dogg (Regulate… G Funk Era, 1994) *
- You Gotta Be – Des’ree (I Ain’t Movin’, 1994) **
- Water Runs Dry – Boyz II Men (II, 1994)
- You Were Meant For Me – Jewel (Pieces of You, 1995)
- Tha Crossroads – Bone Thugz-N-Harmony (E 1999 Eternal, 1995)
- Religious Love – R. Kelly (R. Kelly, 1995)
* played to death
** sung to death