EDITOR’S NOTE: This post was brought to you today by a brain fart. Enjoy.
I’ll tell you right now, that title? That title you just read? Lies. Except for the one part where I say “MAY never”. Like might. Maybe.
The other day, while perusing my usual TV-related news sites, I thought about how I post what I’ll be watching every Fall but I never follow it up with how everything turned out. Guess what? I don’t have to. Know why? Because networks have been cancelling shows left and right, including almost 50% of what I was watching. Good or bad.
This may not be news to you. I’m totally aware. No one – save for my mother – loves television more than me. It should be outlawed in my home, and is just a preview of the damage I’m doing to the brains of my children. And I’ll apologize in advance, but chase it down with this: Television watchers raise television watchers. It’s like couch potatoes beget couch potatoes. Or something. It’s in the Bible.
So my shows are canceled. And I’m sad. For this, you should be happy because now that means I have nothing to report. And I’m all ready to write off all network TV-watching because I’m so super pissed. This is how they get me. Every year, these networks. They rope me in. Have me loving a show, then BAM! Death. BUT! There is so much cool-looking stuff coming down the pike, I can’t wait. I’m already keeping a log of things I’ll be watching fo- – what. You don’t do that, too? Write stuff down? To watch? On… television okay, yes. Again. Totally aware. This is lame. I’m scheduling television for the Fall. Who does that? Let me tell you. I do. You have to get used to these things if you plan on staying and reading. I don’t make sense a lot of times. It’s kind of my thing. I’m the Rachel Berry of television. Give me my gold star.
Know what though? Networks love people like me. Us short-attention-spanners. Us gerbils with goldfish memories. We make their lives so easy. Oh. Oh yeah. I know what they’re doing. They think they’re so slick. So sneaky with their promos and up-fronts and quirky storylines and compelling cast members and ooh! a flower.
What was I saying again?
Cover image (Source)
~HD
mary May 19, 2011 at 2:30 pm
I love your blog! I was just saying this the other day…except more rantish and less funny. What shows got canceled that you’re going to miss?
dmarie May 19, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Thanks mary!
You know, the list is probably too long to name, but off the top of my head: Breaking In (FOX), Chicago Code (FOX), and Detroit 1-8-7(ABC).
And even in my heartbreak, my attention span is so short, I had to look up the list of shows that got canceled as a reference point to help remind me which ones I’m mad about. (#isuck)