On May 16th, Mooter will have her very first ever Talent Show. Not for Little Miss anything or America’s Next something. For the next best thing close to God and ice cream – jump rope. You have to understand the severity of this contest. Along with dust, bugs and her shadow, Mooter is afraid of the spotlight. She would much prefer to melt into a wall wearing cement colored paint than be noticed by a group of her peers or, even worse, PARENTS! Oh, dear God, no. So you have to understand how big a deal this is that she wants to, ASKED to, participate.
A few weeks back before the entire family was encased with a swarm of viral and bacterial viruses that either sent us to the ER or put one of those big, white circus tents around our house making us wear nothing but hazmat suits, Mooter asked to participate in a similar event for charity. She raised X amount of dollars – all from BFam – to contribute in a jump rope contest. She jumped 23 times. You would think she’d learned to say the alphabet backwards she was so proud. Who knew she’d have the opportunity to show off her skills once again? And to show how serious a talent show this is, they’re allowed to have music.
Why did you tell me that?
Immediately, I’m racing through the catalogue of songs I have in my head or have ever heard IN MY ENTIRE LIFE just to get her ready for what is sure to be the Olympic Gold Medal event of all grade school history simply because you’ve added music to the mix. This MUST be serious if you get to have a soundtrack. Oh, wait! It gets better. There’s a routine time [1 minute], a time to sign up [in gym class] and a uniform to wear [gym uniform - ok, not really all that exciting, but still]. And, AND the lyrics must be “100% appropriate and pre-approved”. I am SO sending her in there with Baby Got Back. This is AWESOME!
Alright, alright. I shouldn’t traumatize her. Maybe this alternative will do.
That’s right, Catholic school kids. EAT IT!